Filed under: i have problems
Honestly? In the picture the hand is picking up what the dog is STILL putting out. Typically I thought you waited till after they were done to pick the poo up. Who needs a mitt anyways? It’s like natural play-doh. (wow thats gross)
I am a cake God… Look at this masterpiece me and my wife did!
(I Did the sweet basket weave around the outside)
(my desk at work)
I have 3 web design projects on the table that I am determined to finish ASAP so I can get some work in my portfolio. C.A.R. Inusrance Group, King George Auto Sales Inc. and my personal design firm site for Ember Design Company … I am so determined to get my foot into the door at a design firm as a Flash Developer that I am going to do whatever it takes and at this point it is going to be LATE nights … When I get home from work the only thing I want to do is spend time with my baby girl and wife … I will still do that but after they go to bed ….. crunch time will come. So … with no further adeu … HERE’S TO NO MORE SLEEP!! YAY!!!!!!
__________EDIT_____________
Ok, not ‘NO’ sleep … reduced sleep … lol.
A. “I really don’t want to talk to bankers right now … especially ones from NY”.
B. “I think I can physically cut my fat off with a pocket knife. That way I won’t have to wait a long time to lose weight … just a long time to heal … but in the mean time I will be skinny.”
C. “I miss my wife and daughter already”.
D. “I should post a list of people that I want to punch in the face so they take a hint and stay away”.
E. “Can they make low-fat cottage cheese that tastes like a big juicy steak?”.
F. “I’m going to eat his children”. * in a Mike Tyson voice …
G. “If Hilary wins this election I am moving to Canada, becoming a Royal Mounty, drinking milk from a bag and making my horse poop in democrats lawns … everyday …”.
H. “John McCain has only forearms … there is no elbow involved.”
I. “Chuck Norris doesnt have a chin under his beard … he has another fist”.
Thank you to the inventor of these little numbers … Now I dont feel like I have to drop a deuce and throw up symultaneously when I forget and put my phone in my pocket with my keys, or drop the darn thing. Ah …
Ok … So after my daughter was born, I looked at the pictures of me and this beautiful little baby and realized that. I AM ONE FAT PIG. I have never been this heavy … 265 lbs. to be exact. In ALL of the pictures I had 4 chins and something that resembled some sort of sandwich dipping sauce on my cheek. So I started really trying to watch what I eat. I am working the Zone diet right now and I am proud to say that I am 255 after 2 weeks and slowly coming back down. I just cant wait to get Fat again. Isn’t that the fun part? As soon as I get down to 220 … I will work a regimen of Oreo Cakesters and ice cream filled bathtubs into my “diet” … Yay for me!
In order to train my daughter to be the true killing machine that she is … I have her do about 40 reps of 50 every morning. If she cant … we dont change her diaper. She will kill you with her cuteness … beware 
… hehe
